Tuesday, November 07, 2006

deep seeded

I am a very angry woman. Not actually at this moment, but deep down, I have so much anger that I know that it frightens some people and has caused me to lose friendships. I'm trying to deal with it but realize that is not very successful for me right now.

Why am I angry? To whom am I angry?

Well, if I had that answer, it would be a lot easier to fix and aleve the anger. Not really sure here which is terribly frustrating for me and makes me angrier, which isn't helpful now is it.

Why am I telling you this, no idea. Thought, really, that as I typed, something might be released or I would be inspired by something to focus on, look at or change.

This is so far beyond me that I don't know where to begin. God is in control and to be honest, I want to be. Even though I know that I suck at it, obviously.

I believe God can heal me, but apparently something is holding me back. Fear of what I am going to have to face. Fear that I'm going to have to take responsibility. Fear often leads to anger. What am I so afraid of.

Well, this didn't really help me at all and I'm wondering if I should even post it but I'm tired of looking at my previous posts promoting my friend's businesses so here ya go. maybe.

I'm not looking for answers, magic pills maybe, just kidding (mostly).

If you'd like to say a prayer for me, that would be appreciated.

8 comments:

SUPER said...

Not that I think you're in dire need of it or am trying to advocate some sort of intervention for you..but a couple sessions with a counselor could be greatly beneficial. I learned a ton about myself this past summer while on campus for my counseling stuff.

Some, I knew but just pretended didn't exist..some came and whopped me over the head. Just having someone help you figure out what it is you are struggling wiht, could be helpful to you. Once you have found the source, perhaps you'd be able to work it out on your own!

Lord knows I could use some more therapy:
Germ complex
Relationships
Control issues
Stress
ETC!!!!!

(CONTROL ISSUES WOULD DEFINITELY BE ON YOUR LIST TOO MISSY!)

rubyslipperlady said...

BITE ME. I'm in control of my list not you. hmmmm.

I think that counseling and therapy are excellent ideas for everyone except me.

carrie said...

Ah, my friend... I am sorry to hear of your anger... but addressing these things tend to make us grow and change... usually for the better! You are in my prayers!

Anonymous said...

Actually, getting counseling is fun, even though someone has to pay for it. The other person actually HAS to listen to you! Sure, they make you think too, but they show you yourself from a different viewpoint. Ooops - I was just going to write that I'd pray for you! By the way, if you see someone, you may have some things to talk about regarding Kobe. Maybe not, but maybe. I sure did! Love you! Kim

Friar Tuck said...

i applaud your willingness to face your issues

Anonymous said...

praying, my friend, praying...

San Nakji said...

All I can say as an athiest is Good Luck!

Anonymous said...

If/when you look for counseling, be sure to find the right person who specializes in the things that you are dealing with.

I've been thinking blogging about the counselor who did little beyond separating me from about $1,000. I know he has visited my blog, and I don't think he does these days. I might just as well blog about it.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Now I'm getting angry. Things I could have done with the $1,000.