Hurtful

I've read two chit lit books in the last two days. They were mostly light-hearted and fun. One was set in the Twin Cities which was fun, as I knew some of the places they talked about and the other was in Paris as was fun as they talked of many places I'd like to go.

Between these books, conversations that I've had in the past couple of weeks and a few articles I've read recently, I've been struggling with my singleness.

The more I think about it the more I can remember about many conversations I've had with family and friends who love me and are concerned for me and want me to be happy. They know that I want to be married, and often offer ways to make that happen. That just frustrates me and closes me off.

I've found myself at a point where I am willing to admit (slightly) that I've been in a funk for a few years now. (Many might call this depression, I prefer funk, thank you very much.) End of that.

As a result of this I basically just didnt' give a shit. I didn't really care what I looked like, what I wore, if it matched, if I wore make-up, etc. I work at a hospital (not as a care giver) and tried to get them to let me wear scrubs, to no avail. Oh, the glory of basically wearing my PJ's to work.

Anyway, based on my personal reflections I'm wondering why. Have I purposely made it difficult for someone to approach me, let alone love me? This is not a pity party by any means, just some reflection. I know that many things I say (about hating MN for example) would not encourage a man that lives here to pursue me.

There are many things floating through my mind and heart right now. Have I shut all doors and windows and am only looking through a peek-hole?

Anyway, I'm writing at work (from where I do most of my blogging) and there are many interruptions today. So I will part. I've added a link to one of the recent articles that I found quite hurtful and would like to hear your thoughts.

Again, not a pity party, just some self-realization, self-diclosure, and deep thoughts. Where's Jack Handy when you need him?

"Today's singleness is not celibacy-induced kingdom work unaccommodating to family life. No, it's the result of choices and mistakes by both the individual and society. Today's singleness is either a lifestyle option or purely circumstantial; therefore, it is largely unbiblical."

Colorful regional words

It's like pop vs. soda vs. coke. You need to be aware that the words you use are not the same wherever you are, even in you own nation. I currently live in what I've 'lovingly' termed, the Frozen Tundra of Minnesota. However, I grew up in the great plains of southwest Kansas. I grew up calling it a pop or a coke. "You wanna go get a coke?" didn't mean that we were only going Coca-Cola.

Anyway, at work we use lots of rubber bands, only everyone here calls them rubber binder. To me a binder is a three-ring notebook.

Also, I just found out in Wisconsin they call a water fountain a 'bubbler.'

What differences have you noticed?

Konichiwa

That's right. Time to brush up on my Japanese. I'm so excited and giddy and nervous and scared all at once. At this point, I am set up for an interview in Feb. I recieved an email today saying that I should receive a letter within the next week with all the details. I'm looking forward to it. The interview will be in Denver Feb 22 &/or 23. When I know more I'll get my ticket and hope to see all my dear friends and loved ones while I'm there. YIKES! FUN! HOORAY!

And I even know where my Japanese dictionary is right now. The tape, now that's another thing all together. hmmm, maybe I should hit the library.

yeehaw!

Hee-larious!

You have got to go here for a good laugh. Look up your favorite song, but go to the bathroom first so that you don't wet your pants laughing.

Taking back care of God's people

The Pope released his first encyclical today on God's love and the charity of the Church. While not Catholic, myself, it doesn't matter. I happened upon this piece of news and am thrilled. How often do I avoid charity? How often do I truly not love my neighbor enough to help, if love him or her at all. Shame on me. A thanks to the Pope for reminding me that this is the way that God has called me, as a believer in Christ as my Lord, to live. Time to take back the care of God's people by God's people.

Kiss that goodbye

I'm heartbroken. Really.

I just checked my voicemail and had a message from the Kissmobile people. I didn't get the job. How could I not get the job?! I was born for this job, really, I was! Ask people who know me well (which I realize is most of you who are reading this already). I'm bummed. I was just sure I had it. I mean, even when I knew that the east tour started the end of this month and I hadn't heard. Even when I knew that they had not called me for a second interview. Even though I was over qualified. I WAS SURE IT WAS MINE!

Good grief. If I am not the postergirl for the Kissmobile, I just don't know who is really.

I'd like to stage a boycott, but hey! we're talking chocolate here.

heavy sigh

again

again

My life goes on, I thought it was coming, but there was hope. I am really glad that they called me back though to tell me. That was good. I am sure that God has something great instore for me, I just thought this would be such a fun and unique way to serve Him, ya know. You go God! Thanks for the way awesome opportunity to interview and dream about driving the Kissmobile. It was fun. Thanks! Now help me to open to your plan.

apartment

I talked with my complex this afternoon and I should give 60 days, but can indeed go month-to-month with my lease, allowing me the flexibility I need when looking for a job outside of the Twin Cities area. The best part is that it doesn't cost any more $$. Cha-ching!

I cannot believe how indcredibly bored I am at work. I might explode!